Stressed, But Not Defeated

Maggie Ellis

Hey everyone, welcome back to Being Disruptive! I’m Maggie Ellis, and I’m here with the one and only Darren Colby. Darren, you look like you’ve had about three cups of coffee and a near-death experience this morning. Everything okay?

Darren Colby

Ha! Well, you’re not wrong, Maggie. I think I’m running on pure adrenaline and, uh, maybe a questionable breakfast burrito. But that’s kind of perfect for today’s topic, right? We’re talking about stress in leadership—how it sneaks up on us, and, honestly, how we sometimes make it worse for ourselves.

Maggie Ellis

Oh, totally. I mean, I’ve definitely had those days where I just want to crawl under my desk and binge-watch cat videos instead of facing a tough meeting. But, like, that’s not exactly a healthy coping strategy, is it?

Darren Colby

Nope. And you know, it’s wild how easy it is to fall into those traps. I’ve seen it on the manufacturing floor all the time—folks zoning out in front of screens, skipping lunch, or just disappearing for hours. Sometimes it’s overcommitting, saying yes to every little thing because you don’t wanna let anyone down. But then you’re stretched so thin you’re basically transparent.

Maggie Ellis

Yeah, and it’s not just us as leaders, right? You can spot it in your team too. Like, when someone who’s usually chatty suddenly goes radio silent, or you notice people working late every night, but nothing’s actually getting done. That’s a big red flag for me.

Darren Colby

Absolutely. I’ll give you a real example—last year, we had this product launch that, well, let’s just say it didn’t go as planned. I thought I could handle everything, so I kept piling on tasks, working late, skipping meals. I was basically living at the plant. And then, the night before the deadline, I realized I’d missed a critical step in the process. If it weren’t for a sharp-eyed operator, we would’ve shipped a batch with the wrong specs. I barely slept that week, and honestly, I was no good to anyone. That’s what over-scheduling and not asking for help gets you.

Maggie Ellis

Oh man, I’ve been there. It’s like, you think you’re being a hero, but really you’re just making things worse for yourself and your team. And then you start snapping at people or, I don’t know, eating a whole bag of chips for dinner. Not that I’ve ever done that. Okay, maybe once. Or twice.

Darren Colby

Hey, chips for dinner is a classic. But yeah, those are the warning signs—withdrawal, overcommitting, zoning out, or just getting irritable. If you see it in yourself or your team, it’s time to hit pause and figure out what’s really going on.

Maggie Ellis

So, let’s talk about what to do instead. There’s this whole menu of healthy ways to manage stress, right? I always remember them as the five A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, adjust, and accept. It sounds like a self-help book, but it actually works.

Darren Colby

Yeah, and it’s not about pretending stress doesn’t exist. Like, you can’t just avoid everything. But you can avoid unnecessary stress—like, say no when your plate’s already full. I used to be the yes-man, and let me tell you, that’s a one-way ticket to burnout city.

Maggie Ellis

Saying no is so hard, though! Especially when you’re new or you wanna prove yourself. But I’ve learned that if I don’t set limits, I end up letting people down anyway. And sometimes, just turning off the news or stepping away from a heated conversation can make a huge difference. Like, you don’t have to win every argument about, I don’t know, the best ERP system or whatever.

Darren Colby

Ha! ERP debates, the true stress test. But seriously, altering the situation is huge. If something’s bugging you, talk about it. Don’t bottle it up. I’ve seen so much resentment build up just because people are afraid to speak up. And compromise—man, that’s underrated. You don’t always have to get your way, and sometimes meeting in the middle is the best outcome.

Maggie Ellis

Totally. And then there’s adapting—like, reframing how you see the problem. I used to get so worked up over little things, but now I try to ask myself, “Is this gonna matter in a month?” Usually, the answer is no. And adjusting your attitude—ugh, that’s a tough one. I catch myself with that negative self-talk, like, “I always mess this up” or “I should be better at this.” But those words—always, never, should—they’re just stress multipliers.

Darren Colby

Yeah, I’m guilty of that too. And sometimes, you just have to accept that you can’t control everything. People are gonna do what they do. You can only control your response. I mean, I might be wrong, but I think that’s where a lot of leaders get tripped up—they try to fix everything, and that’s just not possible.

Maggie Ellis

Exactly. And sometimes, just sharing what you’re feeling with someone you trust can be a game-changer. I remember this one time, I was about to go into a super tense meeting, and I was spiraling. So I grabbed a teammate and said, “Hey, can we just take a walk outside for five minutes?” We ended up laughing about something totally unrelated, and when we got back, the meeting went way better. Sometimes you just need a reset, you know?

Darren Colby

That’s such a good point. It’s not always about fixing the problem right away—sometimes it’s just about shifting your energy or your perspective. And honestly, those little moments of connection can make all the difference.

Maggie Ellis

So, let’s get into the fun stuff—like, how do we actually build resilience for the long haul? I mean, I know I feel a million times better when I get regular exercise, eat something green, and, you know, actually sleep. But it’s so easy to let that slide when things get busy.

Darren Colby

Oh, for sure. I used to think I could just power through on caffeine and vending machine snacks, but that only works until, well, it doesn’t. Now I try to get at least a quick walk in every day, and I’ve cut back on the sugar and energy drinks. Not saying I’m perfect—don’t take away my Friday night pizza—but it really does help with stress.

Maggie Ellis

And making time for fun! Like, it’s not just a luxury, it’s actually necessary. I mean, I know it sounds cheesy, but laughter really is medicine. I’ve had some of my best leadership moments during totally ridiculous team activities. Remember that time we did impromptu karaoke in the break room? I think half the team was mortified, but everyone left smiling.

Darren Colby

Oh, I remember. I’m still haunted by your rendition of “Don’t Stop Believin’.” But you’re right—those moments of connection, whether it’s a board game night or just joking around, they remind everyone that we’re human. And honestly, when people feel connected and supported, they’re way more resilient. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself or to encourage your team to do the same—it’s just smart leadership.

Maggie Ellis

Yeah, and it’s about being real, too. Like, showing your team that you don’t have it all together all the time. That’s what builds trust. And, you know, sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself. I mean, if you can’t laugh at your own karaoke skills, what can you laugh at?

Darren Colby

Exactly. So, if you’re listening and you’re feeling stressed, just remember—you’re not alone, and there are real, practical ways to cope. Take care of yourself, connect with others, and don’t forget to have a little fun along the way.

Maggie Ellis

Alright, that’s a wrap for today’s episode—Stressed, But Not Defeated. Thanks for hanging out with us. Darren, always a pleasure to swap stories and, uh, questionable life advice with you.

Darren Colby

Right back at you, Maggie. And thanks to everyone listening. We’ll be back soon with more real talk on leadership. Take care of yourselves out there!

Maggie Ellis

Bye everyone! Don’t forget to laugh a little today.